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Never Mind!


Welcome to the north woods. I’ve been waiting for you to come. It’s the long weekend in May and the lake below us has just cleared of ice. Do you know this hill we’re sitting on used to be higher than the Rocky Mountains? Glaciers took care of that. Never stand in the way of a glacier. Well, we’re movin’ slow like a glacier but that’s a rule up here. You have to let a good story grow with the night until the coals in our fire burn red with the waiting, until the stars begin to move and dance, until the shadows that surround us could be anything. Hey, what’s that on the road down there? It’s a pair of headlights. It’s a Ford pick-up pulling into the red camp down by the water. M-m-m, looks like Joe and Sue-Marie opening up camp for the season. Yeah, that’s Joe alright. Bush jacket, blue jeans and a well-worn ball-cap. Fumbles with his keys for ten seconds and the boom! opens the door with a solid right foot and a few choice words. Sue-Marie knows the ritual by heart and takes a well timed walk down to the waters edge. Ah, the ‘romantic weekend for two’. The young couple are inside and unpacking for less than two minutes when the doorway is filled with the sight of ‘Lord Danny McDougall’. Danny is called the Lord because, well, that’s what he calls himself. Danny asks for a cold beer, settles for a warm one and instantly demands a rousing round of that northern boy male-bonding ritual . . . Never Mind! If you’re not familiar with the game just keep an eye on your neighbours because I’m told that whenever two or more northerners are gathered together you’re soon to here those two special words . . . Never Mind!

When I went out last Friday night

I met a guy he had a switchblade knife

I took his blade I put it in my mouth

I chewed it up and spit it out - - never mind!

Well never mind, I was out two weeks ago

cruisin’ where I likes to go

A guy called me a scumball so I ate’m

armpits, toes and all - - never mind!

Chorus

Never mind, I’ve heard it all before

you’ve got me on the floor,

you’re rotten to the core,

What do you do this lyin’ for?

You really make me roar,

I should start keepin’ score,

I’ve laughed until I’m sore

So never you never no mind no more.

Well I went fishin’ in Tunnel lake

I took my dog, was a big mistake

A muskie jumped out of the fog

he took my bait, then he took my dog - - never mind!

Well never mind, I caught a muskie yes

He stood six feet, more or less

I took him on with my bare hands

and I made him sorry that he ever swam - - never mind!

Chorus

Drivin’ round a corner on Ranger road

there’s a bull moose there, oh my lord

I got out of my truck like nothin’ was wrong

I slapped his face, I said, "Move along Mr. Moose."

Well never mind, I had a pet moose once

Taught him how to do several stunts

He’d jump in the air ‘till you thought he was gone

and then one day he never did come down - - never mind!

Chorus

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